i'll be the first to admit i didn't expect much from the emperor's new groove : more celine dion-esque song-and-dance numbers , cuddly characters that become cross-promotion devices in mcdonald's happy meals , and hollywood stars trying to gain credibility by adding a voice-over job to their resume . 
i was dead wrong about all of those things . 
the emperor's new groove is funny . 
damn funny . 
and the cute characters in the film are the dangerous ones . 
the script is fast and furious , with no singing and dancing . 
the animation is clean and would give walt a warm feeling all over . 
the humor is dry and aimed at both the cynicism and the goodness in all of us . 
the story is ridiculously weird and comes off as a strange acid trip involving talking , cross-dressing llamas and schizophrenia . 
here's the plot ; try to follow along . 
set in a mythical kingdom , the film follows the adventures of kuzco ( david spade ) , an arrogant and egocentric emperor . 
when kuzco fires his power-hungry advisor , yzma ( eartha kitt ) , she and her " assistant " kronk ( seinfeld's patrick warburton ) change him into a llama . 
kuzco then gets stranded in the jungle and must rely on pacha ( john goodman ) , a llama-herder whose home was to be replaced by kuzco's water world theme park , to save him . 
then the fun starts . 
for the next sixty minutes , the audience is treated to something unheard of in disney films these days : imagination . 
yzma , voiced by the talented singer eartha kitt , looks like a cross between norma desmond , joan crawford , and a really old vegas showgirl . 
the dialogue between her and her oblivious assistant kronk is quick , sharp , and feels like an episode of seinfeld ( which would make sense ) . 
david spade and john goodman's character interactions make you feel like you're watching an old hope/crosby film . 
spade is beyond dry with his humor and shoots below the belt on several occasions , and i laughed out loud several times . 
needless to say , that is an extremely rare thing in disney screenings these days . 
the best part about the emperor's new groove is how audacious the film is . 
the sheer weirdness factor is very high . 
cross-dressing , schizophrenia , duality of soul , people being turned into every animal on noah's boat , llama cpr , homoerotic tendencies , an emperor with his own theme song and singer , michael jackson dance moves , and a guy that can communicate with a squirrel are only a few of the oddities that make the film a true orginal . 
simply put , the emperor's new groove is one of the best children's films out for this holiday season . 
kids will enjoy the adventures , and parents will enjoy the story and dialogue . 
that's a tough thing to pull off in a single package , but this emperor manages to do it . 
