in the continuation of warner brother's franchise , joel schumacher has successfully killed this cash cow . 
what makes this film such a grand disappointment is the tremendous line up of talented people involved with the film . 
avika goldsman's screenplay is such a cluttered mess that there is no suspense built from one scene to another . 
this coming on the heals of such a marvelously written project as " the client " is such a shock that it gives rise to thoughts that the latter film was a fluke . 
situations are developed and executed with no thought of reason other that to get the characters from one point to another . 
this is most glaringly brought to point by the appearance of alicia silverstone's batgirl , who just happens to be alfred's niece . 
the story of dr . victor freeze is told almost completely in dialogue as an afterthought . 
while working on a cure for a tragic decease contracted by his wife , dr . freeze is injured during a cryogenic procedure , and becomes a man who can only survive in a sub zero environment . 
now of course he has become a terrorist intent on turning the world into a frozen planet where only he can live . 
now the logic of that little sub-plot escapes me . 
if mr . freeze wanted to find a cure for his wife and bring her back from the brink of death , why would he want to have her live in a world with no warmth . 
this is indeed a cold hearted man . 
the development of poison ivy is no less contradictory . 
she wants to breed a form of plant life that can defend itself like an animal . 
she joins with mr . freeze in his plan to start a new ice age , destroying all animal life , therefore giving her plant creations no reason to have the defense mechanism she had been trying to breed into them . 
the characters have no logic . 
batman of course is no longer the dark knight of the earlier films . 
now that he has an adoptive son in burt ward / robin , bruce wayne is trying to be a father figure , constantly spouting out homilies about family and relationships , while at the same time not really having any . 
george clooney tries in vain to keep from rolling his eyes while reciting the dialogue given him . 
to say that his performance is workman-like is to be generous . 
his best performances are still on " e . r . " . 
bruce wayne has the most unromantic evening with his girlfriend ( played by elle macpherson ) , that it brings into question bruce's latent homosexuality . 
there is no spark and no passion ( as there was for nicole kidman's psychologist in " batman forever " ) between bruce and anyone other than alfred . 
and even that relationship is very reserved . 
robin comes off less charismatic that in the last film in the series . 
now he's just a spoiled kid . 
in " batman forever " , burt ward wanted to be batman's partner and friend . 
now , robin is suffering from ego deficiency . 
robin's attraction for poison ivy is not believable , except for a boy around the age of 15 . 
his later flirtation with batgirl smacks of incest , even though they are not related in a traditional sense . 
chris o'donnell , once considered a rising star , successfully burns up on reentry with this performance . 
his robin needs nothing more than a good spanking . 
the less said about alicia silverstone's performance the better . 
this talented young actress reads her lines with all the aplomb of a dubbing actor for a godzilla film . 
she was cast strictly for her commercial value and she knew it . 
this brings us to the villains . 
arnold scharzenegger walks through his part with all the concern of someone waiting for payday . 
the most rediculous scene is during mr . freeze's imprisonment . 
the guards are at least a foot taller that arnold and yet fall at his hand in one of the most unbelievable fights scenes caught on film . 
it's almost as ludicrous as seeing michael jackson as a gang member . 
umu thurman struts and coos her way through her part , showing a growing discomfort with her sex symbol status . 
her poison ivy has all the come hither sex appeal of may west in " sextette " ( 1978 ) . 
the only performances worthy of notice are pat hingle and michael gough . 
these two seasoned veterans carry their scenes with a dignity sorely lacking from the rest of the film . 
without going through the intricacies of the plot , there is one question that always comes to mind with this series ( except for the first " batman " ) , and that is how do these super villains manage to hire so many thugs only to abandon them at the final reel . 
mr . freeze is introduced with a team of hockey playing hoodlums that seem to have stepped out of an old kiss music video . 
every villain ( even the minor ones ) have to have a look , no one can be an individual with day glow paint on their face or some sort of elaborate costume . 
with this film , warner brothers has succeeded in retrograding the series back to it's tv incarnation . 
the only thing missing from the action scenes are the superimposed titles detailing the pows ! , 
gwaaaa's , and clang's associated with the old series . 
you almost wonder if william dozier , producer of the tv series is collecting royalties from this film . 
the special effects ( by john dykstra ) and production design ( by barbara ling ) are the primary stars of this film . 
and it is a case of extravagance in the pursuit of nothing . 
every set , from ivy's lair , the batcave , to freeze's hideout is set with enough neon and fiberglass to keep the epa in paperwork for years to come . 
there is no one realistic set or set piece in the film . 
everything is set for maximum exposure . 
the special effects have that strange cartoon look that most rushed cgi effects have . 
there are homage thrown in by dykstra and his team to gene warren and his work on " the time machine " ( the growing plant scene ) but these scenes are so wroth with glaring color and art that they are almost obscured . 
joel schumacher has directed the film with no flair . 
camera angles are poorly chosen rehashing set ups from the old tv series . 
master shots pepper the action scenes , destroying any flow of kinetic quality they may have had . 
mr . schumacher is a good director . 
one just has to look back on the films " the lost boys " , " cousins " ( an underrated film ) and " the client " to know that . 
but " batman and robin " comes off as a mated made for tv movie . 
the film has no style of individuality . 
it is the cinematic equivalent to jell-o , pretty to look at , but empty . 
it is unfortunate that this film , even with it's surprisingly strong box office has succeeded in doing what warner's thought tim burton would do with the franchise . 
kill it . 
joel schumacher's " batman & robin " is loud , colorful , action packed , and ultimately . . 
boring . 
stars . 
