there's a scene somewhere in this film where one of the characters reads the book " screenwriting made easy . " 
this is funny the first time just 'cause it is , but funnier as the film goes on since it's totally ironic since the screenwriters of this inane film probably read it , outlined it and then wrote this film . 
it's like they took the sub-genre of the disaster pic , which can be fun and hokey at the same time , and then forgot one of the greatest parts of them : the stupid , eccentric characters . 
yes , " the poseidon adventure " is crap , but it's fun 'cause of all the stupid , eccentric characters . 
and " earthquake , " my god ! 
 " earthquake " has got to be one of the worst movies of all time , but at least they had the joke of having charlton heston sleeping with genevieve bujold . 
 " volcano " takes a semi-intriguing yet stupendously inane plot ( a volcano no one knew about suddenly errupts one fine morning and then erupts again later then stops . . . only 
it's in , dare i say it ? 
l . a ! ! ! ) and then puts no stupid , stereotypical , eccentric characters in it . 
they're just stupid . 
and the actors are all good ones . 
tommy lee jones is great , an oscar winner , and a member of the men in black ( my vote for what should be the coolest movie of the summer ) . 
anne heche is a good indy actress . 
don cheadle stole the disappointing " devil in a blue dress " from denzel's feet . 
and gaby's one of the few good teenage actors . 
but they get nothing to do but act dumb and scream at what's going on . 
they do their best , god bless them , but they're all lost in the fake magma ( only don cheadle gets an interesting part and he's the greatest part of the film ) . 
there's no real suspense here 'cause you don't care about anyone . 
i actually was rooting for gaby's character to get killed so tommy lee jones wouldn't have to keep saving her ( he did it like thirty times ! ) . 
and there are no interesting sites in l . a . that we see get destroyed . 
part of the fun of disaster films is watching sites get toppled or destroyed or whatever . 
in " independence day , " the best part ( other than judd hirsch ) was watching the white house and empire state building get blown up by the aliens . 
that was cool . 
watching really fake-looking magma plow down the street is not . 
okay , so the film's not devoid of merit . 
as i already stated , don cheadle was great and the cast does their best . 
and there's this really moronic scene which looks cool . 
john carrol lynch ( norm from " fargo " ) goes on a subway car to save people but the lava comes and surrounds it . 
he has one guy who's wounded and could make it . 
he could throw the guy and jump and still survive . 
but no ! ! ! 
he has to go and inanely jump and land right in the middle of the lava . 
here's the cool sight : he melts . 
here's the dumb part of it : he somehow manages to throw the man to safety as his legs are melting . 
cool sight . 
no logic . 
but cool sight . 
the volcano erupts twice and for some reason , the film ends there . 
they aren't worried about it eruting again , they just go home to their toppled homes . 
but to tell the truth , i was glad they didn't go on . 
i was hoping the film was over after the first eruption ended . 
my god , it was actually painful to sit through this little 102 minute long film . 
i haven't seen " dante's peak " but i've heard it's a masterpiece compared to this . 
if you want to see a cool disaster flick that's inane but interesting , rent " the towering inferno " with steve mcqueen , paul newman , and the schweppervescent o . j . 
simpson ( he saves a cat ) . 
if you want to waste your time watching a boring , stupid disaster flick ( literally , it almost grossed half of its budget ) , see this . 
but i warned you . 
