late in down to you , the lead female character ( julia stiles ) states her greatest fear is having an " artificial conversation " with her boyfriend ( freddie prinze jr . ) . 
the irony of this statement will not be lost on audience members who have not yet walked out , fallen asleep , or otherwise given up on this pathetic attempt at romantic comedy . 
the film is a multi-million dollar testament to everything artificial . 
filled with characters , motivation , plot and dialogue that ring fake and shallow at every step this is an unquestionable disaster . 
prinze plays a college student intent on playing the field until he falls for stiles' freshman co-ed . 
at first the movie seems to be an attempt to string along scenes with the sole purpose of out-doing the previous in how " cute " it can be . 
the happy couple " psychoanalyze " each other ; they pick out a song because , as prinze's dj mother ( lucie arnez ) explains , every couple needs a song ; he smells her shampoo ; she scratches his chest in the morning to let him know she wants to make love . 
then , in standard romantic comedy style , things fall apart . 
why ? 
well , because they have to . 
otherwise the couple can't make up and live ( presumably ) happily ever after . 
down to you exists outside the realm of normal logic . 
scenes do not connect to each other and it often seems to be attempting some sort of surrealism , but this is handled so poorly that everything comes off random and stupid instead . 
a picnic scene involving the six key characters is just bizarre , not only for the stretched logic of these people hanging out together , or even knowing each other , but mostly because an unusual amount of screen time is dedicated to a goat . 
the supporting characters are remarkably flat , and insultingly ridiculous as well . 
stiles' best friend ( rosario dawson ) is a pot head , prinze's roommate ( shawn hatosy ) is a girl crazy fool who can't meet women , and then there are the porn stars ( zak orth and selma blair ) . 
he is one of those famous porn stars who is frequently interviewed on television , does the college lecture circuit , and stars in high budget costume epic porns that are shot on film . 
you know , the average porn star . 
the costume epic idea gives him a reason to appear in a different ridiculous outfit everytime he's on screen , the porn angle exists just so there can be a couple of stupid sex jokes . 
she is a porn star mostly so we know she's slutty , so her very existence will make stiles jealous and prinze tempted . 
attempts at drama ( which means julia is going to cry ) include a pregnancy scare and the big break up . 
these characters are so insipid only the most forgiving viewer would be manipulated by these weak scenes . 
what happened here ? 
the cast is full of likable , promising , young actors ( stiles especially seems to be going places ) . 
writer/director kris isacsson has simply given them material so weak not even seasoned pros could pull it off . 
in fact the whole film feels like a reworking of last year's extremely unpleasant the story of us , for teen audiences . 
the direction is film-school-grad obvious . 
it's stylish in a hugely self conscious way which throws in split screen , a pointless parody of " cops , " characters walking into the flashbacks of other characters , and a hilariously cheesy airport meeting between prinze and stiles where all the extras move in fast motion while the couple moves in extreme slow motion . 
plus , the whole story is told flashback style , narrated by prinze and stiles directly addressing the camera . 
this is the second film in a row ( following wing commander ) starring freddie prinze jr . which should have premiered on the aisles of the local blockbuster but was likely saved from that fate due to the fluke success of she's all that . 
if he doesn't start making better choices fast his future films won't be so lucky . 
