the catch phrase for disney's rocket man is one spoken by fred z . randall ( harland williams ) , the bumbling idiot computer programmer turned astronaut who continuously wreaks havoc everywhere he goes . 
 " it wasn't me ! " he proclaims over and over as the aftermath of his stupidity brings about looks of disgust from the others . 
well when it comes to this movie being as horrible as it is , williams can't take all the blame , but he sure can't justify himself with his own simple tag line either . 
fred has dreamed of space travel since he was a young boy , turning the clothes dryer into a mock space shuttle and staring out wide-eyed at a poster of the earth . 
as a 30-year-old , fred hasn't grown up much , but at least he's somewhat closer to his goal , now designing astronaut software for nasa . 
when an astronaut for an upcoming mission to mars becomes injured , nasa calls on the person who knows the programming inside and out to fill the void . 
 . 
 . 
fred . 
yes , although he's an obviously klutzy moron , nasa doesn't think twice about throwing him into a rigorous training program so he can assist one of the most important events the space program , and time itself , has ever known . 
for the first part of the film , we watch as fred takes on the training program much like an amusement park . he laughs , he screams , but he never once breaks a sweat or views the preparation as anything more than child's play . 
his passive approach to the program eventually leads to many record-breaking feats , much to the dismay of cocky counterpart , mission commander captain overbeck ( william sadler ) , who once held the records . 
overbeck will regretfully accompany fred and two others to the red planet , one being astronaut julie ford ( the stupids' jessica lundy ) , and the other being a chimpanzee who is much more civilized than our antagonizing protagonist . 
from here on out , we are subjected to one lame gag after another , dealing with snot , laxatives , and flatulence . 
you know , standard kid movie material . 
almost sounding like a poor james stewart impressionist , williams is awful in his first starring role . 
we get the feeling that if jerry lewis and pee-wee herman were related and produced an inbred offspring , williams would be it . 
while he's not as annoying as other actors who cater to zany , stupid comedy , he's just as unlikeable . 
to say it more understandably , jim carrey might annoy you more , but this guy is even less funny . 
why ? 
because while he possesses the stupidness needed to pull off such a role , his performance is too understated and boring . 
classic comedic dunces were generally oblivious to their own idiocy . 
stan laurel , for example , was so innocent in all his trouble-making that we were immediately fond of him . 
peter sellers , as inspector clouseau , was so self-assured and confident that when he did something as simple as trip , it was humor at it's best . 
williams , on the other hand , can't garner the pity he needs to make us love him in all his anti-glory . 
as for the rest of the cast , including some bigger names in smaller roles ( beau bridges and shelley duvall ) , nobody is worth watching whatsoever . 
this is just another example of the fast-food equivalent of cinema : mass-produced , less than mediocre , over priced , and hard to stomach . 
giving it one-and-a-half stars is * extremely * generous , but even i'll admit to laughing a few times . 
the amazing thing is that even in a theater packed with little kids , laughter was something rarely heard - even from the children ! 
i must admit that it gave me more respect for the kids when they didn't crack up over every little thing . 
then again , maybe they were asleep . 
some people might think critics are harsh on kid movies , claiming adults aren't the targeted audience and therefore aren't meant to , and won't , enjoy them . 
sadly , it's also true that kids will enjoy almost anything if it's presented right . 
a two-hour still shot of a dog with a cartoonish voice over could entertain a lot of toddlers out there , but would that make it as artistic as beauty and the beast , which could easily do the same thing ? 
and saying that a parent's perspective isn't important is quite a poor theory to have when they're the ones who take the kids to these films in the first place . 
