33 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
33 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
you know that a movie has issues when most everyone in the audience comes out laughing . . . and
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it's not a comedy !
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and what a strange career path for director chuck russell .
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he starts his career off with a decent take on the " nightmare on elm street " series with his debut as director on installment number three .
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he follows that up with the blob the very next year , but waits another six years to do his next piece , a little film called the mask starring jim carrey , and then one more star vehicle in eraser two years after that .
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so then he thought , " let me wait another five years , get a weak script jammed with cliches and hope that jimmy smits and kim basinger could pull it out of its ashes " ? ! ?
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strange dude and one crappy flick .
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plot : a six-year old girl is believed to be some kind of mysterious prophet sent down from god .
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a satanic cult wants the girl to switch over to their side , while the girl's aunt wants to . . . well ,
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save her from those damn devil worshippers !
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enter one occult expert agent , plenty of bobo cops and lots of nuns praying , and you've just about got the gist of things here .
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critique : with plot holes the size of my ass , this movie barely squeezes any sense out of its clich ? -ridden plot , with wasted talent , cheezy effects , bad dialogue and unintentional laughs to boot .
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what's good about this movie ?
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well , rufus sewell is pretty fun to watch as the head of a creepy runaway children's shelter/satanist supreme , with seriously wicked eyes and just enough ham in his performance to go with all of the cheese lying around .
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the little girl is also pretty good but unfortunately her character doesn't really do all that much .
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and believe it or not , i was actually enjoying some of the film's first half hour , which starts off with some promise , but not before bonehead moves after bonehead moves from our protagonist , basinger , just drown the film's entire basis of believability .
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for some reason , it takes her more time than anyone to figure out that her niece is gifted , and even longer to figure out that every move that she makes . . . is
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a dumb one !
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add that to the entire police force of incompetents , save for jimmy smits ( whose talent agent advised him that playing the exact same cop character from nypd blue would be a good career move ?
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at least change the clothes , jimmy ! ) , zero scares , zero thrills and even less actual drama , and you've got yourself a pretty bad movie .
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and why would respected actors like christina ricci and ian holm take bit parts in this movie ?
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did they owe the director a favor or something ?
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together , they barely have five minutes of screen time , but i suppose that ricci's hospital room scene might be worth a look for some of you horn-dogs .
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the worst part about this movie is its hilariously unbelievable ending , which features police officers coming up with the brilliant idea of " sneaking up " on a man's house , who they know to be guilty of a crime !
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uuuhmm . . . how's
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about knocking on the door and arresting his sorry ass , officers ? !
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anyway , i don't usually inscribe spoilers in my reviews but the stupidity of some of these characters is just too difficult to describe without validating it with solid idiotic proof ( and there was plenty to go around ) .
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and did basinger lose some of her acting " talent " during her hiatus from the profession after her 1997 oscar win ?
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difficult to say if it was her lines that were really bad , or if she just delivered them poorly .
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either way , little originality , very obvious computer effects , little thrills , little drama and very little entertainment value , certainly bestow the honor of one of the worst movies of the summer upon this film .
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but if you really don't mind a rehashed gobbledygook of various satanic and " kid " -based thrillers , and enjoy watching films that don't bring anything new to the table . . . well ,
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drink some beers , smoke some beans and rent this video , because it may just be one of the funnier thrillers of the year .
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