46 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
46 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
wild things is a way to steam up an otherwise dreary early spring day ? provided , of course , that you're the victim of a frontal lobotomy .
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there is , in fact , no doubt about who this motion picture is aimed at : movie-goers in their late teens and early twenties -- the most lucrative target group .
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this is film noir for the mtv generation : fast-paced , slick , flashy , gleefully mindless , and hollow to the core .
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wild things is easily one of the five dumbest movies to arrive in theaters during the first eleven weeks of 1998 .
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i've seen more convincing drama ( with nearly as much bare flesh ) on that pinnacle of narrative quality , baywatch .
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wild things wants to dupe viewers into thinking it's a thriller with a real story .
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what it is , however , is a series of increasingly- improbable and shockingly predictable plot twists .
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everything in between those serpentine moments is filler -- a flash of a breast , a spatter of blood , and some of the most idiotic dialogue this side of a steven seagal movie .
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the film tries so hard to surprise its audience that the twists end up being easy to guess -- just take a stab at the most unlikely thing to happen , and that will probably be it .
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using this approach , i was right three times and wrong only once .
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that's not a good average for a production that wants to keep viewers in the dark about what's around the next corner .
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the ad campaign uses two things to sell this movie : the hot , young cast and the old standby , sex .
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both have an abundance of screen time , although i'll admit that the film's erotic content is somewhat less impressive than i expected .
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nothing about wild things is exceptionally risqu ? .
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the soft-core sex sequences are generic , and don't generate much heat .
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the lesbian kisses can't hold a candle to those in bound .
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theresa russell and denise richards have only token topless appearances ( neve campbell , possessing an iron-clad " no nudity " clause in her contract , keeps her clothes more or less on ) .
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the film's greatest curiosity is a full frontal shot of kevin bacon climbing out of the shower .
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maybe a few girls will skip seeing a fully-clothed leonardo dicaprio for the thirteenth time in titanic to catch a glimpse of what kyra sedgwick ( mrs .
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kevin bacon ) is familiar with .
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the director of wild things is john mcnaughton , whose last effort was the finely-tuned psychological thriller , normal life .
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that movie featured copious sex , a pair of real characters , and a powerful script .
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it's difficult to believe that something this shallow could come from the same film maker .
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but i suppose we all need to put food on the table .
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mcnaughton appears to have completely lost his way here , in what is obviously a stab at mainstream success ( his previous wide-release picture , mad dog and glory , was a box-office disappointment ) .
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quick cuts and pretty sunrises can't even begin to cover up this movie's flaws .
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the main character ( and i use that term lightly , since no one in wild things shows more than an occasional flash of personality ) is sam lombardo ( matt dillon ) , a guidance counselor at florida's blue bay high school .
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a student , the deliciously curvaceous kelly van ryan ( denise richards ) , has a crush on him .
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one afternoon , she comes to his house to wash his car , and , when she leaves , her clothing is torn .
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after confessing to her mother ( theresa russell ) that she was raped , she goes to the police station , where she tells her story to detectives ray duquette ( kevin bacon ) and gloria perez ( daphne rubin-vega ) .
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they are skeptical about here claims until another girl , suzie toller ( neve campbell ) , comes forward with a similar tale .
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meanwhile , sam , convinced that he's being set up , goes to a shyster lawyer ( bill murray ) for help .
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the acting in wild things isn't very good , but none of the principals have much to work with .
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this is definitely not a character- based motion picture .
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not only does the ludicrous screenplay ignore the possibility that someone in the audience may have a triple-digit i . q . , but it doesn't bother to give any of the on-screen individuals even a hint of depth .
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the men and women populating the picture are there to look nice , but nothing more .
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matt dillon is given plenty of opportunities to flex his biceps .
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neve campbell gets to model the slutty look .
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denise richards strikes a fetching pose in a see-through , one-piece bathing suit .
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and nothing in the film gets a rise out of kevin bacon .
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the only one who's even remotely interesting is bill murray , and he seems to think he's in comedy , not a thriller ( maybe he's got the right idea ) .
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columbia pictures has specifically requested that critics not reveal the film's ending , which prompts the question : which ending do they want kept secret ?
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wild things has no less than three ( one occurs during the end credits , so stay seated ) , all of which are jaw-droppingly absurd -- a feat that joe eszterhas ( the writer of basic instinct and showgirls ) would be impressed by .
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thanks to jeffrey kimball's polished , kinetic cinematography , wild things always looks great , and george s . clinton's score keeps it pulsing and throbbing .
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but , no matter how shiny the superficial sheen is , this is still trash , and , like all garbage , it stinks .
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