52 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
52 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
hilarious , ultra-low budget comedy from film school dropout kevin smith chronicles a day in the life of two convenience store slackers ( brian o'halloran and jeff anderson ) .
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they spend most of their day ignoring customers while discussing everything from fellatio to self-fulfillment .
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the premise is strictly sitcom and the photography is grainy as all get-out , but you could spend ten times the film's budget ( a reported $27 , 000 ) and still not get dialogue half as good as this .
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originally rated nc-17 for language .
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not recommended for viewers with sensitive ears .
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killing zoe ===========
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remake reservoir dogs as a french art film and you're halfway to killing zoe , writer/director roger avary's slow-moving story of a failed bastille day bank robbery .
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eric stoltz stars as an american in paris who gets in * way * over his head when hooks up with a band of nihilistic bank robbers .
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he's the safecracker who's blissful unaware that the bank job is a botch job from the word go .
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though intriguing on all fronts , the film is paced at half the speed of pulp fiction , which avary co-wrote with quentin tarantino .
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in english and french .
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the road to wellville =====================
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based on the novel by t . coraghessan boyle , the road to wellville doesn't go very far .
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bowels , bowels , and more bowels are explored by dr . john harvey kellogg ( a buck-toothed and bespectacled anthony hopkins ) , who , in the early 1900's , advocated abstinence , vegetarianism , and frequent defecation .
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he also invented the cornflake .
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really .
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checking-in to kellogg's battle creek sanitarium are matthew broderick and bridget fonda , just two of the many well-known faces in this failed comedy .
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leave your laughter at the door and you can marvel at the unfunny antics of john cusack , michael lerner , lara flynn boyle , john neville , and dana carvey .
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the art direction is impeccable and some of the early sequences are amusing , but the novelty quickly wears off as writer/director alan parkers tries his darnedness to turn doo-doo into drama .
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what he ends up with is something that i can't print here .
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phew !
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stargate ========
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lawrence of arabia meets star wars .
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this epic sci-fi film is more sheer spectacle than anything else .
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director roland emmerich ( universal solider ) shamelessly rips off lucas and spielberg and just about any other cosmic cliche that he can lay his hands on .
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the film is overlong , the characters are cardboard , and the script is filled with some of the most laughable details in modern sci-fi history .
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that said , there's still plenty to watch here .
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sci-fi fans should enjoy the sculpted sands , the morphing headdresses , and a surprisingly spunky james spader .
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he plays the egyptologist who gets to prove his theory that that " somebody else " built the pyramids .
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less interesting are co-stars kurt russell and jaye davidson of crying game fame .
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star trek generations =====================
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trek fans may be more forgiving , but , for the rest of us , the sluggish star trek generations is a mixed bag at best .
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the story is interesting , but each scene goes too long .
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the cast is earnest , but the direction lacks punch .
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and so on .
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( the best example of the latter is a klingon comeuppance that delivers none of the impact of a similar scene in star trek ii . )
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original enterprise captain james t . kirk appears on both ends of the story , though they cut the scene where shatner turns to the screen to plead " get a life . "
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remarkably unremarkable .
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miracle on 34th street ======================
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in a season of the specialist and pulp fiction et al , maybe a remake of miracle on 34th street * is * necessary .
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john hughes certainly believes in santa claus and his les mayfield-directed production does nothing to tarnish the memory of the 1947 original .
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the romance between costars dylan mcdermott and elizabeth perkins doesn't work too well , but the film makes a strong case that richard attenborough is the definitive kriss kringle .
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his chemistry with children can moisten any eye .
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no claus for alarm .
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junior ======
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arnold schwarzenegger pregnant ?
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sure , billy crystal did it before in rabbit test , but the sight of schwarz with a bulging belly is a casting coup comparable to dustin hoffman in tootsie .
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what should be nothing more than a one-joke premise actually gets better as it goes along .
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director ivan reitman ( dave , twins ) wisely keeps the farce to a minimum , so the first hour moves slower than you might expect .
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don't expect too many yuks from danny devito , but you can't beat those early romantic scenes between emma and arnie .
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how's * that * for a collision of acting styles ?
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