41 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
41 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
one of the best things about my job is that , every so often , a film still catches me by surprise .
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" spy kids " certainly did .
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an adventure story aimed primarily at children , the movie is smart , zippy fun .
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the production neither panders nor talks down to its audience .
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the brother and sister at the center of the tale are believable , likable kids and their parents are ? get ready for this ? intelligent , capable and loving .
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bathroom humor is kept to a minimum and the numerous well-staged action scenes avoid excessive violence .
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what a relief it is to be able to review an all-ages film on its artistic merits and not its ethics .
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consider the other pg rated " family friendly " movie in theaters now .
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" see spot run " has a mother going out of town , leaving her son with an idiot neighbor .
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body function humor abounds , including a slapstick bit that has the adult male lead repeatedly falling in dog poop .
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what really disturbs me are the jokes that bookend the film .
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the story begins with a police dog capturing a mobster and biting off one of his testicles in the process .
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at the hospital , the doctors explain that they replaced the testicle with a metal ball and joke that the victim is lucky the dog didn't bit off the other one , because two metal replacement balls would clack together .
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of course , the movie ends with the dog biting off the remaining testicle and shows prisoners laughing at the criminal as he clacks past their cells .
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somebody clue me in ? when did genital mutilation become funny ?
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" spy kids " is a welcome antidote to the repellent " see spot run , " using imagination instead of cruelty and crudeness .
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carmen ( alexa vega ) and her younger brother juni ( daryl sabara ) live in a beautiful seaside home with their parents , gregorio ( antonio banderas ) and ingrid cortez ( carla gugino ) .
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mom and dad are a sultry couple devoted to their children .
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what the kids don't know is that they are also former spies .
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once agents from different countries assigned to " erase " each other , they instead fell in love , married and retired to raise a family .
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needless to say , they get drawn back to the business .
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shortly into their first joint mission , they are captured and end up in the headquarters of fegan floop ( alan cumming ) , a foppish hybrid of willy wonka and pee wee herman who hosts juni's favorite tv show .
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but there is evil behind the scenes , as inventors prepare an army of robots disguised as children .
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papa gregorio has the device necessary to radically increase the efficiency of the creatures and the bad guys will stop at nothing to get it from him .
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back at home , " uncle " felix ( cheech marin ) shows up to reveal mom and dad's secret to the kids .
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after a brief respite at a safe house filled with enough cool gadgets for a dozen sharper image stores , carmen and juni set off to find their parents and save the world , zooming through the sea in a submarine pod that looks like a goldfish , while a slew of wicked people ( including teri hatcher ) chase them .
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during the course of their adventures , they get to use jet packs , electroshock bubblegum and super-computer sunglasses .
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they watch as secret agents are transformed into bizarre creatures with silly putty faces and used as background characters on floop's tv show .
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they deal with guards that have huge thumbs where their arms , legs and heads would normally be ( why are the guards so ineffective ?
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because they're all thumbs ! )
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they move from one colorful locale to another , including a nifty virtual reality room reminiscent of the holodeck from " star trek . "
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the storyline is silly and convoluted , but even at its most dense , it is easier to follow than either " mission : impossible " movie .
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director robert rodriguez ( " from dusk to dawn " ) maintains a frenetic pace , with the whole film clocking in at a mere 86 minutes .
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a bit less action and a little more character development would have been nice , but he does provide enough quiet moments for viewers to become fully invested in the family .
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alexa vega and daryl sabara make an agreeable brother and sister team , squabbling the way kids do , but coming together when it counts .
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antonio banderas and carla gugino are even better as the parents ; they quickly establish and maintain a great lusty chemistry while keeping their tongues properly in cheek during the action scenes .
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even the usually irritating alan cumming has some nice moments ? a virtual cloud-backed chat between his character and juni is one of the best segments in the film .
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had rodriguez added a few more scenes like that , i would have enjoyed the film more ( and i definitely could have lived without the glaring product placement for a certain mc-ubiquitous company ) .
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regardless , " spy kids " is a hoot , offering fun for adults and children alike .
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and just think , they managed to do it without sacrificing a single testicle .
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